Relatives and other catastrophes
by AvaEobane
Summary: Lisanna would stop wiping the tables for a moment to tell the story of How Ivan Dreyar chose the wrong day to visit Fairy Tail because this was the funniest story the guild had to tell at the moment – a few months later, Erza would walk in on Gray and Juvia which would be the next Hot Topic but at the moment, Ivan's visit was discussed by everyone. / Happy Laxana-week


**Relatives and other catastrophes**

* * *

Mirajane Strauss who had watched the disaster unfold from the very first day she had suspected that there was something going on between Cana and Laxus (which had been even before Lisanna's death) would always tell the story when someone asked her. She would laugh and chuckle, telling her audience that she had seen it coming for years.

Lisanna Strauss, the aforementioned matchmaker's younger sister, would try to safe whatever was left to save (and fail miserably) but even she had to admit that it had been hilarious. She would stop wiping the tables in the guildhall for a moment to tell the fabulous story of _How Ivan Dreyar chose the wrong day to visit Fairy Tail_ because this was the funniest story the guild had to tell at the moment – a few months later, Erza would walk in on Gray and Juvia which would be the next **Hot Topic** but at the moment, Ivan's visit was discussed by everyone.

It had been a relatively normal day in the guild.

Natsu and his team had been out on a job – without Gray who had claimed to be down with a cold. Mira had heard better lies but she had let it pass because she had heard the same rumours he had – and if Ivan Dreyar was really visiting, it might be good to have the Ice Mage nearby … because at the end of the day, someone would need some ice to cool injuries. Makarov sat on the counter, amiably chatting with Juvia and the miraculously recovered Gray while Laxus sat on the stairs that led to the second floor, holding Cana's hand under Gildarts' strict supervision.

For Mira, this was the kind of day she could be nearly sure to get home early and without much of a problem. She was quickly proved wrong as Ivan strolled into the guild as if he owned the place. Within seconds, the atmosphere changed. Gray crossed his arms as he turned away from Juvia to check on Cana who had grabbed Laxus' hand a little bit tighter. Juvia's lips formed a sneer her fingernails dug into the wood of the bar. Makarov was about to compliment this feat because the wood was very hard which was necessary because of all the people who frequented the bar smashed their empty mugs down on it but before the old man got the chance, Laxus growled at his father, obviously unhappy to see the man here.

"Laxus, behave," Makarov sighed as he rose and walked up to his son. "What are you doing here, Ivan? I thought that you are banned from here."

"Because of the wedding incident? Please, father-chan, you are ridiculous," the black-haired man said amused. "It was not like we really planned on kidnapping Cana-chan."

The Card Mage shivered slightly. "Then, you are amazing actors," she snapped as she leaned back against Laxus. "I really thought that you were trying to kidnap me."

Out of nowhere, Evergreen appeared and towered behind Makarov. "I also had the impression that what happened was not simply a joke, Ivan-san," she snapped, eyes blazing behind her glasses. By now, they were finally attracting the attention of everyone in the bar.

"Nah, nah … no need to be hostile, Ever-chan," the man said amused as his eyes flickered over the assembled mages, resting for a moment on Gajeel who scowled at him.

"Don't call me Ever-chan, you prick!" the Stone Eye Mage hissed as she grabbed her glasses, seriously considering lifting them so that she could deal with Ivan once for all.

"Ever, don't," Lisanna said as she grabbed her sister-in-law's hand. "It's not necessary."

"Oh, it would be deserved," Laxus sneered as he rose. "You messed up the wedding … father."

"It was the least I could do for my only son…"

Gildarts finally rose to his full height, uncrossing his arms and sighing deeply. "You also ruined my daughter's wedding," he stated calmly. "I think that I will have to hurt you for this."

Gray pinched the back of his nose as he carefully approached the scene, considering which one he would hold back once this entire situation would blow up which would not take more than a few more minutes.

"As if you could hurt me, Gildarts-chan," Ivan smirked.

And there they went. Three of Fairy Tail's S-class mages charged at Raven Tail's master, effortlessly pushing Makarov out of the way. Evergreen also made a move into Ivan's direction but Lisanna grabbed her and pulled her away, muttering something about "Think of the child" which ironically confirmed the rumour that Evergreen and Elfman were expecting a child. Elfman never managed to join the battle because Mira glared at him and sent him out to get Porlyusica for unknown reasons. That Gajeel never managed to land a punch on his former employer was due to Juvia's fast reaction and the Water Lock she conjured within seconds before she continued to break up the riot. Along with Gray, she managed to restrain Cana – which was already a miracle because the woman was a lioness when she fought like this. Laxus found himself grabbed by his grandfather and pulled away which left Gildarts and Ivan.

"Excommunicated loser!" Gildarts snarled as he landed a punch on Ivan's cheek.

"Brainless fool – always running after father-chan instead of getting your own power!"

Cana hid her face behind her hands. "Two adults … and yet, they act like school boys arguing about which one is allowed to hand in the essay first to get a good mark from the nice teacher," she muttered in disbelief. "This is a sad day for our guild."

"That's true," Makarov said as he nodded. "I had assumed that they had outgrown their childish rivalry by now but it seems like they never changed."

"Are you okay, Cana?" Gray asked as Juvia remembered to let Gajeel out of the Water Lock she had conjured. "Because you took quite a punch…"

She carefully touched her bruised jaw and shrugged. "Ah well, there's nothing wrong with a little colour," she said amused. "Still, I wouldn't say no to some ice to prevent the colour to spread."

"You look gorgeous, Thunder," Laxus said as he was finally released. "What about them?"

"Let them fight this out … we will charge the repairs on Ivan," Makarov said cheerfully as the both men continued to wreck havoc in his guildhall. "It's actually kind of funny, isn't it?"

"It's always fun and games until someone loses a leg," Porlyusica snorted as she entered the guildhall, approaching the fighting men and grabbing Ivan's ear roughly. "Behave, foolish human!" she scowled. "You are nothing but a bother for everyone right now!"

"Haha, mommy came to put you back in place!" Gildarts laughed, further proving the theory that some men would never grow up properly. "Long time no see, Porlyusica-san. You look good."

"This flattery won't work on me, Gildarts," the woman said as she glared at Ivan. "By the way, Makarov, I thought you had banned him from the guild after the wedding incident."

"Yeah, I thought so too, gramps," Laxus said as he glared daggers at his father. "I don't wish for him to be around Conny. He might abduct her and infuse her with dragon lacrima too!"

"As if," Ivan said as he tried to free his ear. "That would be far too expensive! I never planned for you to keep it anyway! I was trying to increase the profit by having the original amount of lacrima growing in your body. I am a business man and no welfare organisation, Laxus-chan."

A single shuriken card pierced his shoulder and he squeaked pathetically.

"Oops," Cana said as she lowered her hand again. "My hand must have slipped. Sorry."

Both her voice and her facial expression made very obvious that she was not sorry at all.

"Where is the precious little girl anyway?" Porlyusica asked, rubbing her temples with her free hand. This was the last time for a very long time she would bother to visit her guild.

"She is having her nap upstairs," Cana replied as she sent her father-in-law a pointed glare. "You see, it's not like a nap is important for a baby or anything, Ivan-_chan_. I mean, she won't be moody and whiny for the rest of the day or anything. I am just an overly-dramatic person."

_"She might never have won Miss Fairy Tail but she's certainly Miss Fairy __**Sass**__,"_ Bixslow muttered and Freed nodded with an amused twinkle in his eyes as Bixslow's babies called out 'Fairy Sass, Miss Fairy Sass' and various other forms of their master's speech.

"I want to see her – with all this noise, she is probably awake now anyway," the medical adviser declared as she brushed back a strand of her hair. "If you please would go and get her, Laxus."

Her grandson sighed deeply as he left after mouthing to Cana _'If you kill him, I'll help you hide the body'_ even though he knew that Gajeel might have called dibs on this already.

A few seconds later, he was back, holding a pink-haired baby in his arm. His lips were curled up into a soft smile and he gently tickled his first-born.

"She's is adorable – and smells extraordinarily good … for a human," Porlyusica said with a rare smile. "You named her after Cana's mother, right?"

"Yeah," the Card Mage said as she took the baby from her husband. "I think that she's is perfect."

"I want to look as well!" Ivan said as he finally managed to free himself. He managed to bend over the baby but just then, Cornelia opened her eyes and puked all over Ivan's coat.

The black-haired man blinked twice before he scowled at his son. "Just like you," he muttered.

The uproar in the guild was enormous.


End file.
